She was on her knees...
Next to my daughter's hospital bed...
It was 3 in the morning and I stood completely overwhelmed by God's Sovereign love. It was as if God had come down and physically put His arms around me in that sterile cold room and hugged me, shining His warmth through the room.
I glanced at her right hand now bandaged. I still hadn't seen the damage. But I'd been told that she had lost some fingers...maybe saved her thumb.
Lost her fingers...
My eyes turned again to the bent head bowed in prayer...
The Christian one now bending her head in humble prayer on our behalf.
The same nurse that 2 years earlier was with us as she had her 3rd surgery. The emotions of that year, the feeling of no control, the fear, the love, the triumph...
How I needed that little comfort from God. His way of giving strength when my spirit was crushed and overwhelmed.
Not 12 hours before I had been driving our 15 passenger van loaded with all 8 children 13 years to 13 months.
Driving down that country road headed toward a friend who would take some children for a few days so I could be with my sister who had just had a baby.
A baby who might not live long. A sister that I wanted desperately to pray with and give comfort.
Now I needed that comfort.
She was sleeping, a medical sleep that eased the suffering for a time.
My thoughts continued.
The music had been playing in the van: "In My Weakness He Is Strong"
"In my weakness He is strong;
In my need He leads me on.
When I come to the end of all I am,
And I place my trust in Him;
That’s when His strength begins In my weakness."
In my weakness...
Off the road, the screaming, the crunch of a pole, the rolling of the van, the silence, the crying, the desperate counting of children, the jaws of life, the whimper of pain...the ride to the hospital, the surgery...
What a wonderful God we serve to bring us a willing vessel... To encourage and pray when my own prayers were just tears.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
God reached down in love and rescued Cassandra from her sin at the age of 21: changing her life, purpose, and focus forever.