Today one year ago I lost a little boy. He was ushered into the arms of Jesus before I got to hold him, cuddle, watch him grow, and teach him about our great Saviour! Yet now he knows more about my Saviour than I do...Heaven is a sweeter place! Zachariah Benjamin was born at 7:00am on March 19th at 17 weeks… A beautiful, miniature, perfect 8 inch long, little boy. All the fingers, toes, eyes, ears, face, nose, legs, arms, perfectly in place. Two weeks earlier, we had named him Zachariah. His name means “The Lord Remembers” I am so thankful that He does!! He is in the presence of Jesus.” Through this last year, I have lost two other angel babies...I never got a chance to meet and name those two...yet Jesus has. I also have met many other women who have experienced heartbreak. If I had not lost Zachariah, I never could have really understood the pain and loss losing a little one can cause...I could try...but not really understand. Now I do. I told a lady recently, “Yes the pain eases, and time does heal; yet the hole of that missing child does not go away.” The following women are ones that I know personally... Stephanie Dickerson “Nehemiah Benjamin Ray's earthly vessel was delivered at 8:55 March 1, 2011 at 24 weeks gestation. The placenta was not developing correctly.This is the hardest thing that we have ever had to deal with. Nehemiah is with the LORD JESUS. Nehemiah will always be remembered in our heart, he taught me a lot in this time on how to love my wife. Nehemiah means Jehovah Comforts: GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD! Proverbs 3:5-7” Kylie Manor Moye "On the day of Shane's birth March 19, 2010, he was 24 weeks and 3 days gestation, weighing in at 1lb 11oz. 12.5 inches long. On the day he was ushered into heaven, he was 24 weeks 4 days old , weighing in at 7lbs .07oz 19 inches long! Throughout his 6 month stay in the nicu, Shane had 6 major surgeries, too many tests to count, he was fed, not fed, fed, not fed..., one infection after another, fingers poked, heals poked (many times a day ), but through it all he was a fighter and our little hero.” Mary Lynn Van Gelderen "On March 23, 2010 little Emma Van Gelderen went home to be with the Lord. Emma passed away at about 25 weeks along. Her earthly body was buried at the Bill Rice Ranch." Four little children...much prayed for by their parents, yet entering into the presence of Jesus before their parents got to spend much time with their earthly bodies. Yet as a believer, each of these mothers will see their little one again when we reach heaven. Not only will we have a chance to see them but have the opportunity to spend all of eternity with all of our loved one in the presence of Jesus. How do I know this? Because I have accepted Christ's substitute on the cross from my sins. The death that was meant for me because of my sins, Jesus took upon himself, taking my death and all my sins on Him. Three days later, doing what no one has ever done, He resurrected from that earthly grave to conquer sin, death, and hell! As a 21 year old young lady, I repented of my sins and received the Lord Jesus Christ as my own Saviour. I know that each one of those ladies have trusted Christ as their substitute for their sin as well! How about you? Will I see you in Heaven? If any of these children could talk right now, maybe they would quote from the Psalms... Psalm 139. For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. KJV
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Today, I am going to the hospital...no, I am not sick! I am going to celebrate a life. A new life born into this world...a little miracle given by God.
You see, last December, a young lady from our church came to me full of enthusiasm. God had begun forming a new life within her. She was expecting and due in September. I had my own secret...one I had not told anyone...I to was expecting. But, I hesitated to share my new. Why? Because this was to be my ninth. As excited as I was, at the same time, I had thought that my 8th was my last. Questions swirled in me head: "a new one, nine, can I do this, I thought I was done"? As the time passed, and as my baby grew within me, the thought of a new little one I could hold, cuddle, nurse...became more exciting and real. I shared my news with those loved ones around me; the little one inside me continued to grow and my stomach with him! :) My due date was to be September 22, 2010. I was measuring bigger, so the doctor ordered an ultrasound. How can one explain the feeling of seeing a life jumping, kicking, sucking his thumb in the womb. A new date was set for September 9th...the same date as my young friend from my church. A month after my Ultrasound, I starting bleeding. I will not go into the story, let's suffice it to say, little Zachariah Benjamin was born much to early on March 19th. Over and over, I have repented of those early thoughts. God has taught me some hard lessons...ones I wish I did not have to learn. In August, I had a positive pregnancy test. My heart was thrilled. Here was a gift from God, a month before Zachariah's due date. My thoughts were: "This would help ease the pain of Zachariah's due date." At the same time, I received a call from my sister that she was pregnant. I told her my little secret and found our due dates to be three days apart. One week late I miscarried... Now is the birth of Hannah Lynn...I go to celebrate. What are my thoughts? I am excited to be able to hold a little newborn baby. No, she is not mine, but what a comfort to be able to see a new life, created by God!! As I jokingly told her, "I get the privilege of holding and cuddling, you can have her when she cries and needs to be fed!" The Lord is good...nothing more can be said... |
AuthorGod reached down in love and rescued Cassandra from her sin at the age of 21: changing her life, purpose, and focus forever. Archives
February 2019
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