The sun is shining through our big window this early Saturday morning. I am sitting in the blue recliner enjoying the morning sunshine and warming up! Praise the the Lord for the sun and His goodness! Why when the sun shines do I feel like I can conquer my house, life looks brighter, and the harshness of the world becomes softer?
Today we are cleaning the house thoroughly! Each child has a job and they are scurrying around like little busy beavers! Tomorrow starts a week of revival meetings by Dwight Smith and his family. Life continues to roll on, giving each day a new challenge and new chances to serve God and others.
Today I am 10 weeks pregnant. Is that a surprise to some? Did I plan this pregnancy? No, yet I would LOVE to have another little one. I am convinced that God is the creator of life and this little life is in His hands.
I have tried to keep this a secret, but it is a difficult thing to do if you start showing as soon as I do. I was also not telling because of the the last three losses. Some people also have their personal opinions--they may or may not share--about whether I even should have any more children. But...then again...this could just be my own perception of people. I really wanted to wait until I was at least into the 2nd trimester.
At 7 1/2 weeks I had an ultrasound and was able to see the baby and hear his heartbeat...158. The fragility of life is so evident when you see those scans!
I went to the doctor for my first “official” appointment this last Thursday. We talked about how Zachariah was born early and what could have caused his early birth. We both agreed that since he was alive when he was born, the problem was that I had had pre-term labor and he was born too early. We talked about the possibility of the cause being cervical incompetence. With all my other children, I never had any problems or complications: no surgeries, or any interventions in delivering my children. In short, I have been very blessed with good health.
Cervical incompetence is basically a cervix that is too weak to stay closed during a pregnancy and it is the premature opening of the cervix without labor or contractions. Therefore, resulting in a premature birth and possibly the loss of the baby, because of the shortened gestational length. It is believed that cervical incompetence is the cause of 20 - 25 % of all second trimester losses .
Thursday my doctor did an internal exam and said my cervix was already starting to shorten, in her opinion...she looked really sad and gave me a hug.
She is sending me to Ohio State University (an hour away) for the doctors up there to look at me and give me a transvaginal ultrasound (measures the length of the cervix). They will not see me until 12 weeks...that is the starting point. So...for the next 2 weeks, I am not on bed-rest...but on "chair rest" and “just-don't-do-anything-to-cause-this-baby-to-be-born rest.”
I am waiting for the call from OSU for an appointment. If it is cervical incompetence, there is a treatment...cerclage. This procedure involves having a 5 mm band of permanent suture placed high on the cervix to keep it closed. This is done when there is significant effacement of the lower portion of the cervix. It is generally removed at 37 weeks...then I would be on complete bed rest.
Yes, I am afraid...yet at the same time, I know that my God is in control...this is probably the last baby I could have...so that does scare me. We are looking to Christ and praying for a good outcome!
In the meantime, I will enjoy each new day the Lord give me and continue to bask in his Son as I sit in the sun in my blue recliner!
"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;the LORD bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!" Psalm 84:10-12
God reached down in love and rescued Cassandra from her sin at the age of 21: changing her life, purpose, and focus forever.