I always get this way at the beginning of the school year. I am going to be brutally honest…I love homeschooling. I love the ability to teach my children and enjoy being not only their mom, but their teacher as well.
We start on Tuesday. However, I find it overwhelming and feel the burden of school, meals, laundry, music lessons, new church year, and just being a mom coming crashing down on me.
Every beginning of the school year a fear takes over me... a fear that I will fail as a teacher, a mother, and spiritual mentor. I have no one to blame, no one to complain to, no one to say it's not my fault...the bucks stops with me.
Is my curriculum right for each child? Am I going to have the right attitude and correct spirit to help a frustrated child? Can I give each child what he/she needs?
These are the thoughts that come into my head at the beginning of school.
Yes, I have the books, paper, their desks are ready and filled with newly sharpened pencils, colorful crayons, and chalk for those new personal chalkboard I made this year...all the school supplies they need for the start of a new year.
But am I ready?
Going to a homeschool convention this summer, I met a lot of other homeschoolers many of whom were homeschooling for the first time.
They had that look in their eye... Like they were trapped between excitement with the privilege of teaching their children and the fear of what to do, how to do it, and will they fail?
Like a deer caught in the headlights in the pitch dark on one of our country roads!
Homeschooling is not just that fuzzy feeling of having a clean house, the laundry done, breakfast ready for the perfectly dressed child, a clean kitchen after breakfast, school starting on time and you and the child sharing a book on the couch as the sun shines in through the window! :)
It's the day to day living. The times when the house is not clean, the kids are fussy, it's raining, the laundry is not done, the schedule is messed up yet and school and learning still continue.
The learning my children receive not only comes from the books, but more importantly, it comes from a life wholly dedicated to God. A life that shines the love of Christ when either the day is perfect or the day is out of sorts and the schedule is off.
I want to be that mom that shines Christ.
I want to be the teacher that loves God, shows God's love.
I want to be the mentor that looks like Christ?
How can I be that mom, teacher, mentor?
Well, that brings me full circle to THE teachers edition, the manual for my life.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deu 6:7
1. I need to pray like Nehemiah...
"O Lord, I beseech thee, let now thine ear be attentive to the prayer of thy servant, and to the prayer of thy servants, who desire to fear thy name: and prosper, I pray thee, thy servant this day, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man. O Lord, I beseech thee, let now thine ear be attentive to the prayer of thy servant, and to the prayer of thy servants, who desire to fear thy name: and prosper, I pray thee, thy servant this day, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man. " Nehemiah 1:11
2.I need to follow this pattern as Paul told the Corinthians:
Let all your things be done with charity. (love)". I Cor 16:14
3. I need to walk worthy like Paul told the Ephesian people.
".I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Eph. 4::1-3
4. I desire to do as John says:
"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.".
This year as I seek with God's help to teach my 9 children Kindergarten to 12th grade, I go on my knees...
8/12/2014 08:21:08 am
I am experiencing exactly this right now and we start tomorrow! I have so many mixed emotions about homeschooling. I was excited and now I am just filled with doubts about my ability to stay motivated, my patience level and whether or not I made the right choice to stay home with my children and quit my part time job. Thanks for your blog. It was nice to see I am not the only one that feels this way.
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God reached down in love and rescued Cassandra from her sin at the age of 21: changing her life, purpose, and focus forever.