Today, I am going to the hospital...no, I am not sick! I am going to celebrate a life. A new life born into this world...a little miracle given by God.
You see, last December, a young lady from our church came to me full of enthusiasm. God had begun forming a new life within her. She was expecting and due in September.
I had my own secret...one I had not told anyone...I to was expecting. But, I hesitated to share my new. Why? Because this was to be my ninth. As excited as I was, at the same time, I had thought that my 8th was my last.
Questions swirled in me head: "a new one, nine, can I do this, I thought I was done"? As the time passed, and as my baby grew within me, the thought of a new little one I could hold, cuddle, nurse...became more exciting and real.
I shared my news with those loved ones around me; the little one inside me continued to grow and my stomach with him! :)
My due date was to be September 22, 2010. I was measuring bigger, so the doctor ordered an ultrasound. How can one explain the feeling of seeing a life jumping, kicking, sucking his thumb in the womb. A new date was set for September 9th...the same date as my young friend from my church.
A month after my Ultrasound, I starting bleeding. I will not go into the story, let's suffice it to say, little Zachariah Benjamin was born much to early on March 19th.
Over and over, I have repented of those early thoughts. God has taught me some hard lessons...ones I wish I did not have to learn.
In August, I had a positive pregnancy test. My heart was thrilled. Here was a gift from God, a month before Zachariah's due date. My thoughts were: "This would help ease the pain of Zachariah's due date." At the same time, I received a call from my sister that she was pregnant. I told her my little secret and found our due dates to be three days apart.
One week late I miscarried...
Now is the birth of Hannah Lynn...I go to celebrate. What are my thoughts? I am excited to be able to hold a little newborn baby. No, she is not mine, but what a comfort to be able to see a new life, created by God!! As I jokingly told her, "I get the privilege of holding and cuddling, you can have her when she cries and needs to be fed!"
The Lord is good...nothing more can be said...
God reached down in love and rescued Cassandra from her sin at the age of 21: changing her life, purpose, and focus forever.