When I was five, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, which is just a fancy word for a very sick colon. I lived in the hospital a lot, and was put on almost every drug imaginable.
I ended up with three surgeries along with a bunch of other really scary procedures. You can read the whole story here. Then my family was involved in a van accident in 2008 and I lost part of my hand. And in 2010, my baby brother went to heaven.
As I got older, the one word that always stuck in my head was "why". I think most people ask this question, when they're going through something they don't understand.
I still don't understand it all completely, but I do know that God has complete control over my life. I want everything that happens in my life to bring glory and honor to God. And for others to see Him in me.
This is a little bit of what my mom wrote a few years ago,
“For me, it’s important to remember that God has a level of maturity that He desires to bring all of us to in this. Trusting Him has to be more than agreeing with the nod of the head; it has to be lived out in our daily lives—in His experience—and Christ must be glorified in it all.”
God's word doesn't specifically give me an answer for "why you were in a car accident", but it does explain some of the reasons trials are put into our lives.
1 Peter 1:7, “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
James 1:2, “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
1 Peter 4:11b, “…that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever.
Psalm 119:67, “Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.”
Psalm 119:71, “ It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes"
I have been reading a book for my devotions and one of the chapters is on trust.
The author defines trust as “firm confidence in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something; placing reliance on something else over which one has little control."
One of the most familiar verses on trust in the Bible is Proverbs 3:5-6,
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
It’s so easy to rely on my own understanding, especially when life seem like it's up-side-down. Like doing only what I think is best or what I think is right, instead of trusting God that He is in control.
Faith and trust go hand-in-hand in the Bible. Faith is taking God at His word; that what He says is true. Trust is simply faith in God.
I don’t have to look at life through the world’s eyes, which says, “take life as it happens” or, “Oh well”, but instead as a Christian, I can put my trust in Someone who has complete control in everything going on in my life.
When I was little, dad would stand at the bottom of the basement stairs while I would be on the third step. Dad would tell me to jump into his arms and he would catch me. I put trust in my dad when I jumped and I had faith that he would catch me because he said so.
Isaiah 26:4: Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength:
Psalm 71:5, “For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth.”
Night time is probably the hardest time for most people. It’s when we lie awake thinking about things that happened that day, or dwelling on things that might happen in the future.
There was one night at 2 am, that I felt completely helpless, like there was no one in the whole world that could help me.
I felt all alone.
I had had an allergic reaction to something and it had gotten really bad. I finally just cried to God, because there was nothing else that I could do to fix the situation myself.
It later reminded me that God keeps his promises and He is always there, even at 2 in the morning when I feel all by myself in the dark.
Psalm 139:7-12 “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me." Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
1 Corinthians 4:16-18 “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Mom introduced me to these verses recently and they have been my go-to verses for the past couple of weeks.
I tend to look at all of the things in my life like, money for college, summer plans, a job, my sometimes annoying siblings, a really really bad day, finishing school on time, or constantly getting yelled at.
(Ok, so not constantly, but sometimes it may seem like that :)
I look at these as big and impossible, because in my flesh they are, but in light of eternity and all the awesome things that God has planned, they don’t even compare. It’s like drawing a long line, which is eternity and placing a dot above it, which is my life.
It puts it in perspective….I shouldn't get mad at the bad things in my life when they don’t even matter in the end.
I’m not saying my problems magically disappear and life is perfect, but when my heart attitude changes, and I focus on “Who” not "Why me”, I don’t have to dwell on myself, but instead on the greater picture which is Christ.
God reached down in love and rescued Cassandra from her sin at the age of 21: changing her life, purpose, and focus forever.