She says, “Are those kids all yours”?

I say, “Yes”.

She says, “Where does your husband work”?

I say, “He is a Pastor of local church”.

She says, “Do you work”?

I say,”Ummm…no…yes”? Thinking: of course I work…who feeds, cleans after, loves, teaches, and clothes these children?

She says, “I mean an outside job!”

I say, “No” Thinking: “I can’t afford an outside job. Yes, I to have a Bachelor’s degree…in Nursing. I could make three times my husband's salary, but I choose to stay home”.

She says, “Must be nice, how lucky you are”.

I say, “I guess…” Thinking: “Lucky? Why, because I choose not to have a second income? Yes! I am lucky…my husband lets me stay home, so I can rear our children for the Lord”. I wish all husbands loved their wives as much as mine loves me.

She says, “I don’t know how you do it; my two drive me crazy.”

I say, “We have a lot of fun, I enjoy my children!” Thinking: “Sometimes they do drive me crazy, but how much I would miss ours if I did have one of them! “I am sorry you are not happy…”

She says, “You look so happy! “

I say, “My joy comes from within…not from the things around me. Can I leave you something that can show you how to have that same joy ?”  Thinking: If only she or her family could know the jo of Christ…

She says, “Thank you. Here is your receipt.”

Thinking: “Thank you Lord for my Salvation, my children, my husband, my church, my family, and all that I have been given. My heart is broken for all those that do not have the privilege to have all that I have in Christ!”

About 4 years ago I planted purple and pink creeping phlox in my front flower beds: one on the right and one on the left. About two weeks ago as I was weeding my front beds, I looked at the right flower beds where the phlox was just starting to green up. I noticed that not only was the phlox starting to green but tightly intertwined throughout the plant was clover. It was so tight, in fact, that there was no way I could pull it out without pulling up the flowers.

The only way to not have the clover spread to the other plants was to get the shovel and dig the entire plant up…weeds and all.

 As I was standing there, with Autumn at my side, we got to talking about the phlox and clover.

Those flowers and clover is so much like our lives. Just a little sin we let slide, just a little time away from God, just a little bit of irritation, just a little bit of watching, reading, thinking on the wrong things, just a little disobedience: these do not seem like much.

Yet, if we do not pull the weeds of sin quickly, it can grow until it is too painful to clean out all that sin. Before we know it the beauty is choked and the whole plant is needs to be pulled.

In the one flower bed is an empty space. In the other bed: Beautiful pink and purple flowers cascade over the rocks bring a joy for all to see God’s beauty.

May I keep my weeds pulled in my heart!

Hebrews 6:17-20

So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose,

He guaranteed it with an oath,

So that by two unchangeable things, in which

It is impossible for God to lie,

We who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul,

A hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain,

Where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.

The key to a hope in my Christian life is the Anchor of my soul. Thinking on truth...I have a refuge to a strong encouragement so I can hold fast to the hope or confident expectation that is set before me. A hope where Jesus has already gone on my behalf.

I may not always see the anchor, but He gives me the chain to look at!

Was it providential that a sweet young friend from a former church would have called me 3 months ago and asked to come to visit for a week during her spring break? The very week my little Zachariah was called home to Glory? What a comfort to have her when I was physically weak!

Was it providential that we had Tom and Caren Fuller to preach for our Bible conference? The very Sunday after the Lord took Zachariah home? What a comfort to have friends to show comfort from the word of God and to take Michael's place in the pulpit?

Was it providential for my parents to be able to find a helpers for Grandma and for dad to not be too busy to come and help officiate our little service?

When I see the chain that is attached to the Anchor, and I think on Truth...God's Word...I am reminded of God's love for me and the strong Anchor He is in the time of trouble!

Lamentations 3:19-24

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
The wormwood and the gall!

My soul continually remembers it
And is bowed down within me.

But this I call to mind,
Therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I will hope in him."

Throughout my short life, the Lord has allowed me to see Him and His Love more and more through the different events He has placed in my life.Life, because of sin, can be difficult, hard, and sometimes overwhelming; yet, because of Christ, His birth, death, and resurrection, we can have a life full of peace and comfort from an Almighty, God.

Many people could share their own experiences of heartbreak and sorrow. In this human form, we can be overwhelmed by trial and tribulations in our lives. I am so thankful for a God who cares about the lilies of the valley, the birds of the air, and me. He loved me so much that he made a way for me to have victory over sin, death, and Hell! How can I reject a God who has done so much for me…offering me eternal life.

My heart goes out to those without the hope and comfort of my God, Saviour, and Lord!
Lamentations is so true:

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness! “

Just a summary of my thoughts and feelings of March 19th 2010...

For the last four or five days I had spotted a little. On Thursday March 18th, I called
my Doctor at 2:30pm to tell her about the increased spotting. At this time, I did not
have any cramping or discomfort. The Nurse told me this spotting can be common in pregnancy and to call if it became heavier or if I was feeling crampy. I put my feet up for the rest of the afternoon.

At 5:30pm I heard a scream coming from the yard. Serenity had fallen off the trampoline and hurt her wrist. At 6:30pm, with Michael (my husband) watching the other children, I took Serenity to the emergency room to Bethesda Hospital in Zanesville. It turns out she had a broken wrist… poor thing…

I thought about calling the doctor since I was already at the emergency room, but I
thought, “Why? I was not really any worse and did not really feel bad.” So I returned
home with a little girl in a splint, put her to bed and I went to the bathroom. I noticed
increase blood on the tissue. I kept debating what I should do…Finally at 10:30pm I called the OB doctor. He told me to go to the ER.

After calling a friend to stay with the children, Michael and I left to return to the ER
at 11:00pm. We did not see an OB doctor because I was less than 20 weeks (almost 17).
They took blood, urine, I heard the heartbeat…140, and the cervix was closed. At this time, I was experiencing, light menstrual like cramps which I told the ER doctor. He said everything looked fine and to go home and take it easy.

I had no choice but to return home at 4:00am and go to bed. At 7:00 Michael’s alarm went off, I rolled over and felt a small pop. As I ran to the bathroom my heart sank…I knew.

Instantly as soon as I sat down on the toilet, I started delivering our little boy. I
caught him as he was delivered and got to see his little heart beat a few more times. AS I held a perfectly formed little boy in my hand I was struck by how tiny and helpless he was. We lovingly placed him in a special place at home.

At that time, it was as if a faucet had been turned and I could not stop the bleeding.
We left the children, and sped to the hospital which is a good 25-30 min away. By the time we got to the ER I had bled so much that my cream pajama pants were now red from the
extreme loss of blood. AT one point in the hospital, I heard a buzzing and felt like I
was going to black out right there. I told Michael that I think my heart had stopped
beating! He looked me and said, “Well, you’re still talking so I guess your heart is
still beating! :)

45 minutes after arriving at the hospital, the Doctor did a D&C while I was sedated. I lost a lot of blood. I was told my recovery would take longer…After about 2 hours recovery I was sent home.We returned home at 1:00pm.

The doctor believes it was preterm labor, why? who know..the Lord wanted our little boy in heaven and not in my arms...

How do I feel? Weak, tired, sad, empty, yet….comforted by a loving savior and by prayers from all across the world, loved by beautiful children that God has allowed me to carry full term.

Stephen (6) said it all with his eyes full of tears, “This is a sad, sad, day”!
Life is a precious thing, each child learned that today. I told my children, God has a
special purpose for each one of us. Which is why we are here…to serve Him.

Zachariah Benjamin was born at 7:00am on March 19th at 16 ½ weeks… A beautiful, miniature, perfect 8 inch long, little boy. All the fingers, toes, eyes, ears, face, nose, legs, arms, stomach was perfectly in place.
Two weeks earlier, we had named him Zachariah if he was a boy. His name means “The Lord Remembers” I am so thankful that He does!!
He is in the presence of Jesus.

If he could talk right now, maybe he would quote from the

Psalm 139.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

He was buried on the afternoon of March 20th, a small memorial with our family and grandparents, Dennis and Kay Ice.

God is always good whether we understand our circumstances or not. With that hope and promise, I cling to an Awesome God who gives life and who can help me when it is taken away!

Saturday evening March 14th at 6:00 p.m., our family was invited to the annual Fireman’s Banquet. New Concord’s Fire Chief, Brent Gates, honored each of the many volunteer firefighters and first-responders in and around our area.

During this time he also had our family come up to the front. He presented each of our children with a medal for courage and bravery in the mist of an emergency. Our family also received a plaque with the date of our accident. Joshua received a baseball cap and two beautiful pocket knives for his bravery in helping each of the children during the accident.

It was an honor to meet each of the men and women and their wives who sacrificed their time and gave of themselves to rescue us that fateful day. We were amazed at how many men and women were involved with our accident in one way or another.  Our family was able to personally thank these incredible people for their service to us and our community.

The dictionary defines a volunteer as a “person who freely enlists for service.” Each one of these men and women freely enlisted for the different services they performed. We are deeply grateful and indebted to all of them for everything that was done to rescue us.

As I was sitting at the banquet reflecting on our accident and the many people involved, I thought of different volunteer: a volunteer who freely enlists into an even greater service, the service of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Bible states in 2 Timothy 2:4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.

This is the service of telling others about the free gift of Salvation! How great is the need to rescue people with gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Oh that I will continue to be reminded to be a volunteer for Jesus! The song writer writes:



A call for loyal soldiers
Comes to one and all;
Soldiers for the conflict,
Will you heed the call?
Will you answer quickly,
With a ready cheer,
Will you be enlisted
As a volunteer?

A volunteer for Jesus,
A soldier true!
Others have enlisted,
Why not you?
Jesus is the Captain,
We will never fear,
Will you be enlisted
As a volunteer?

Yes, Jesus calls for soldiers
Who are filled with pow’r,
Soldiers who will serve Him
Ev’ry day and hour;
He will not forsake you,
He is ever near;
Will you be enlisted
As a volunteer?

Not I But Christ




Little by little the Lord is stripping away my selfish wants and desires and replacing them with His path for my life. Just when I have my life planned out my way, the Lord allows events into my life to learn to lean on Him just a little more.

 This last week our entire family had the opportunity to travel to Wisconsin for a preaching conference. With much anticipation we packed food, clothes, bibles and kids! I was looking forward to the trip to soak up some good preaching, enjoy the orchestrated Godly music, and spend time with my family under the preaching of the word of God. Monday evening was a wonderful service. Tuesday the Lord gave us another good day with more teaching from His Word. Tuesday evening Carissa started not feeling well… pain in the chest and dizziness.  Mercy developed a high fever on Wednesday. By Thursday all I wanted to do was enjoy this last day for me…God had other plans.

 Michael had not been feeling well for the past couple weeks, by Thursday his symptoms had gotten worse. He has the same disease Autumn had two years ago that caused her to remove her colon. Despite the bleeding, Michael continued to go to the services. By Thursday evening we both realized that his bleeding had to stop and he was already in trouble physically. After much prayer and with the Lord’s guidance, we made our way to the ER at St. Josephs in Milwaukee. Here we are sitting in the Er with my baby and my husband …the last place I wanted to be.  My children were still in the service.

 We prayed together for God protection and His wisdom. He is such a good God to take care of us and guide us to know exactly where to go and what to do. The Lord provided great doctors and nurses who took care of Michael right away.

 As Michael was being taken care of, my mind continued to recall the past couple days and now this.  I bowed my head and gave my life and my way to the Lord.  At the same time I prayed that each one of my children would hear the Word of God that was being preached and make lasting decisions for Christ.

 Michael was admitted that evening at 11:30pm for medication to control the bleeding and for hydration and low potassium. As I left the hospital around midnight, I came out to my van to find a thin layer of ice on the windshield. The 20 minute drive to the place I was staying ended up to be an hour long nerve racking drive. By the time I was halfway there, the rain had turned to ice and the ice had turned to white sleet. At one point I could not see because the ice on the windshield was not coming off and the roads did not even have tracks on them. With much prayer, I made it to the home we were staying at. At this point it was around one in the morning. I sat behind the wheel in the driveway and gave way to the emotions of the week and the evening.

 Can I not have a time to myself, Can I not have a day without a crisis, Can I not have to take care of sick people all the time, Can I… Can I…?  My life is full of the word I. The Lord smote my heart. Christ in me…Not I but Christ…He knows what is best for me and my family and my life. Oh, I have so much to learn.

 Was the week all I wanted it to be? No, but it was all God wanted it to be. On the way home we were sharing how the Lord used His Word and sharing decisions we made. Autumn, who is still dealing with many fears because of the accident, her surgeries, and other trials the Lord has put in her life, told us of her decision she made Thursday evening while she was in the service and we were in the ER.

 “Daddy and Mommy,” she said, “I told the Lord I will go anywhere and do anything the Lord wants me to do… even if there are floods, hurricanes, or earthquakes.”

 Basically this little girl gave all her fears to the Lord.  That makes the week one orchestrated by the Lord and not myself. If my life truly belongs to Him, then all my plans and desires are His to do with what he wants and not I.

 Not I but Christ.

We praise the Lord for His wonderful guidance in our lives. The year 2008 was a year of miracles. Our God who is so powerful and mighty always takes care of His children. Even though the circumstances may not the way we would have choses, we know that our God is running our lives; molding and shaping us for His use.
In September of 2007, God provided Michael a job outside of the church to help support our family as well as be the Shepherd of Lighthouse Baptist Church. One Sunday morning in October of 2007, God miraculously led a Christian young couple who we did not know to one of our church services during their vacation. During the service, another visiting unsaved man walked the isle to be saved. This Christian man was able to lead this visiting man to the Lord. After having the Christian young couple in our home for lunch, we both realized that God had formed an unusual bond. Michael continued to work. Daily we prayed for wisdom for what God would want us to do. One particular evening, my husband came home with some good news; the company that had hired him had raised his pay to $3.00 more an hour. Thirty minutes after we talked, the phone rang. On the phone was the Pastor of this young Christian family who had visited our church with news we could have never thought possible. This young couple’s church as well as two other churches would support us financially for the entire year of 2008 enabling my husband to quit his secular job and be the full time shepherd again. Never would we have been able to orchestrate such an event on our own.
One day in the fall we were enjoying a relaxing afternoon. The children were playing outside on the trampoline and the tire swing. Michael and I were sitting in the living room reading. The wind was blowing, but we did not think anything of it. All of the sudden, my husband yelled, leaped out of his chair, and ran out the door in a panic. I glanced out the window; the trampoline was no longer in the yard. Not knowing what had happened, my heart pounding, I ran out right behind him. Autumn ran screaming into my husband’s arms followed by the rest of the children.
Just minutes before, the children had gotten off the trampoline. Autumn had been sitting on the ground just in front of the trampoline; the others were on the swing. A large gust of wind came and picked up the trampoline and headed right towards Autumn’s head. The rubber on the netting of the trampoline grazed her head by millimeters. It flew over the yard, hit the house, and landed behind the house upside down. Again, God protected us.
In October, I was driving south 83 in our 15 passenger van with my 8 children, when I got off the road and hit a utility pole, a culvert and flipped our van. Autumn and I were injured the most. She lost two fingers of her right hand and part of her hand; and I broke my nose, separated a shoulder, and broke some ribs. The rest of the children received bruises, black eyes, and small abrasions. We are grateful that God in his mercy miraculously spared us.
I am homeschooling 5 of our children. I truly enjoy the opportunity this has afforded me to get to know each of my children on a more intimate basis as we seek to teach a deep love for Christ as well as the academics.
Joshua is 13 and in the 8th grade. He loves to play his violin in the church orchestra. He is very good at designing on the computer and putting PowerPoint presentations together. He is becoming a real asset to our ministry.
Autumn is 12 and is in the 6th grade. She plays the violin and enjoys playing the piano as well. She is truly a wonderful help with all my daily tasks. She is developing a love for the Lord and is learning what it means to have a complete trust in the Lord.
Melody is 10 and in the 5th grade. Since the accident, she has become a special helper with Mercy. Changing, feeding, and dressing her, Melody does all this with joy. She loves to draw and is very creative.
Carissa is 9 and in the 4th and 5th grade. She is always laughing or giggling about something. She is learning the piano. Writing comes easy to her, which is probably why she loves keeping diaries.
Timothy is 7 and in the 2nd grade. Running playing, jumping moving is what he is constantly doing. It is a joy to raise another boy to serve the Lord. He can be very serious minded and loves to sing loudly. He seems to be exceptionally good at math.
Stephen is five. He loves his trains. He seems to be very creative in drawing loves building things with his block and Joshua’s erector sets. He loves his baby sister. Stephen is always coming up with something funny to say to keep us laughing,
Serenity is 3 and loves to keep up with everything the rest of the children are doing. She and Stephen are best friends!
Mercy is 16 months. She talks…in her own language! Walking around with a doll under one arm is not unusual to see. Everyone wants to hold her or play with her. She is definably not lonely.
We had a good year serving the Lord in our church and in community. Revival, bible conference, the war, bible school, ladies retreat, teen outreach, picnics, fireman’s festival parade, Easter, Christmas Eve, our annual Hot dog roast and many more activates kept us busy. One of the highlights this summer was being able to run an evening Bible school and war with the help of a church in Illinois. The Lord was good to us that week giving us many teen and children. One lady, who received our Bible school flyer, is still coming faithfully and is currently being discipled.
We are looking forward to the year 2009. Already, last Sunday the Lord brought 5 new families to our service. We do not know what the future holds for the De Leon family, but we do know our God is good and ready to do exceedingly abundantly more than we could ever ask or think!